Gertrude
Jekyll
and Mr Hyde
a musical
by
Robin
Gordon
Act
I
- Auksford 2013 -
PRELUDE
[Overture]
[Score]
A street. Two
Newsboys calling their
wares. They speak with a certain macabre relish.
[No.1. Read all
about it] [Score]
BOY 1:
Read all about it!
BOY 2:
Murder most foul!
BOY 1:
Jack the Ripper strikes
again!
BOY 2:
Ripper on the prowl!
BOY 1:
As he reads his daily
paper
every butcher, every draper
turns towards his wife and nippers
and he says, “I see the Ripper’s
been and done another murder.
so you’d better stay in purdah."
BOY 1:
Read all about it!
BOY 2:
Murder most foul!
BOY 1:
Jack the Ripper strikes
again!
BOY 2:
Ripper on the prowl!
BOY 2:
“It’s a
proper horrid caper,
’cos this bloke he ain’t a japer.
Like a bulldog he’s a gripper
– cor, it’s jolly nice this kipper
–
so you’d best stay in the house
like a frightened little mouse.”
BOY 1:
Read all about it!
BOY 2:
Murder most foul!
BOY 1:
Jack the Ripper strikes
again!
BOY 2:
Ripper on the prowl!
Enter
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson
BOY
1: ’Ere
you are, Guv. Read all about it.
Two
more victims in Whitechapel. Carved ’em up proper,
’e
did. Horrible!
Watson
buys a paper.
WATSON:
Terrible business,
Holmes.
HOLMES:
Terrible indeed,
Watson. I understand the police are baffled, yet there are
clues.
WATSON:
Clues, Holmes?
HOLMES:
Yes, my friend. Consider what these murders have in common,
and
ask yourself what that tells us about the murderer.
WATSON:
All the victims were
women.
HOLMES:
Yes?
WATSON:
All in Whitechapel.
HOLMES:
Yes?
WATSON:
Ah, yes. I see what you mean, Holmes. The murderer
hates
women and lives in Whitechapel. We must tell Inspector
Lestrade
immediately.
HOLMES:
I imagine the inspector is working along those lines himself, but,
speaking of lines, have you forgotten, Watson, that this is the
nineteenth century.
WATSON
[consulting
his pocket-watch]:
Good gracious, is it that time already?
HOLMES:
You will have your little joke, Watson, but I am making a serious
point. This is the Age of Steam! It is possible
that the
murderer comes from as far afield as Manchester, stays overnight in
London, commits a murder, and returns to the bosom of his family by
overnight train.
WATSON:
By Jove, Holmes, I
hadn’t thought of that.
SCENE
1
While
they have been speaking
the newsboys have left the stage
and the curtains have opened to reveal Holmes lodgings at 221b Baker
Street. Holmes and Watson hand their hats to the Housekeeper
and
sit down.
HOLMES:
Unfortunately the newspapers have realised the advantages to the
criminal mind of unrestricted travel at today’s immense
speeds,
though it is not Manchester that has seized their imaginations but
Norfolk.
WATSON
[puzzled
but trying to look as if he
understands]: Good heavens!
HOLMES:
You have, however, missed the vital clue, Watson. The bodies
were
all mutilated, but not mutilated in a brutal manner such as we might
expect from one of the drunken denizens of Whitechapel. They
were, without exception, slit open and internal organs were removed
with a precision which can only be achieved by years of training at the
finest of medical schools.
WATSON:
But … but
… you surely can’t suspect … I mean, no
medical man
would do such a thing.
HOLMES:
In a case like this, Watson, everyone comes under suspicion. I
don’t imagine for one moment, Old Friend, that you go round
slitting women open in the darkened streets of night, but you should
not be surprised to receive a visit from our friend Inspector Lestrade.
The
doorbell rings.
WATSON:
What shall I do,
Holmes?
HOLMES:
Pray calm yourself Watson. Unless I’m very much
mistaken
our visitor is not Inspector Lestrade but a large, heavily built,
bearded man wearing a very expensive suit – in fact I may say
that I believe him to be of Royal Blood.
Enter
Mrs Halibut, the Housekeeper, backwards, very flustered, curtseying
repeatedly.
HOUSEKEEPER:
Oh, Mr ’Olmes … oh dear, oh dear, I’m
all of a
doodah … oh Mr ’Olmes … it’s ’im
… ’is very self … Oh what an honour
… oh
whatever shall I do? … Oh, Mr ’Olmes …
Oh!
[No.2.
I’m all of a doodah …] [Score]
I’m all of a doodah, I really can’t think!
I’m all hot and flustered, my face is quite pink!
Oh what shall I do if he notices I?
I think I shall fall down and die!
Whatever shall I do?
I feel so dizzy.
I can’t believe it’s true.
He isn’t, is he?
I’m all of a doodah, I really can’t think!
I’m all hot and flustered, my face is quite pink!
Oh what shall I do if he notices I?
I think I shall fall down and die!
It must be just a dream.
He can’t be here.
I think I’m going to scream,
I feel so queer.
I’m all of a doodah, I really can’t think!
I’m all hot and flustered, my face is quite pink!
Oh what shall I do if he notices I?
I think I shall fall down and die!
I really can’t believe …
It’s true! It’s true!
[She
falls on her knees
clasping her hands together]
For whom we’re to receive …
coming to see YOU!
HOLMES:
Thank you, Mrs
Halibut. Would you show the Prince of Wales in?
HOUSEKEEPER:
Oh, yes. Yes! [She
crawls to
the door and flings it open,
salaaming wildly and repeatedly]
Please to enter, Your
Royal
’Ighness … oh lor’ … oh my
…
Enter
Edward,
Prince of Wales. Mrs Halibut crawls out. Holmes and
Watson
rise and bow. The Prince places his hat and gloves on the
table
and takes a chair.
PRINCE:
Please sit down,
Gentlemen.
Holmes
takes the other chair. Watson moves into the background.
PRINCE:
I have heard, Mr
Holmes, that you are something of a detective?
HOLMES:
I
have trained myself to observe what other men miss, and, by the careful
use of logical deduction, to draw the appropriate conclusions from
these clues.
PRINCE
[glancing
at the newspaper on the
table]: You take
the Times, I
see. You may not be familiar with the gutter press.
HOLMES:
I have made it my
business to find out their views on the Whitechapel murders, Your Royal
Highness.
PRINCE:
Good man! You see why we have to solve the case and put an
end to
their infernal speculation. Name your price, Mr Holmes.
HOLMES:
It is my patriotic
duty as an Englishman to serve you, Sir. I ask for no reward.
PRINCE:
Oh, come now. I
insist.
HOLMES:
Well, Sir, the poor people of Whitechapel have a hard life, and these
murders are almost the last straw. Perhaps a donation to Dr
Jekyll’s new clinic ...?
PRINCE:
You mean Henry
Jekyll? Are you a friend of his?
HOLMES:
Unfortunately
not. Dr Watson is, however, a close friend of Dr Jekyll.
The
Prince and Holmes rise. Watson comes forward. The
Prince
clasps his hand.
PRINCE:
Any friend of Dr
Jekyll is a friend of mine. I am delighted to make your
acquaintance, Dr Watson.
[No.3.
Any friend of Dr Jekyll] [Score]
Any friend of Dr Jekyll
is a friend of mine.
Be he German, French or Greek I’ll
tell him “Come and dine.”
Jekyll’s a true philanthropist,
the sort of man who will never desist
from doing good works till his in his coffin.
Would you have thought it of such a bright boffin?
– the cleverest doctor that I’ve ever
known,
with a bedside manner that’s all his own.
Any friend of Dr Jekyll
is a friend of mine.
Be he German, French or Greek I’ll
tell him “Come and dine.”
So the deserving poor all say,
“If an apple a day keeps the doctor away
we don’t want no fruit because if we are weak
he’ll
help us and love us the good Dr Jekyll.”
So that is the reason I say with a grin
that to Jekyll’s friends I am always in.
Any friend of Dr Jekyll is a friend of mine.
If he’s lost and up the creek I’ll
throw to him a line.
If he hasn’t got a paddle
I will lean down from my saddle
and I’ll pluck him from the brine.
Any friend of Dr Jekyll is a friend of mine.
PRINCE & WATSON:
Any
friend of Dr Jekyll
is a
friend of mine!
PRINCE:
I’m very glad to meet you, Dr Watson. We must have
a talk
about Henry Jekyll’s projects to assist the poor people of
London. Mr Holmes, I leave everything in your capable
hands. I shall make a large donation to Jekyll’s
clinic.
The
Prince
takes up his hat and gloves. Holmes and Watson bow.
Watson
opens the door. The Housekeeper, who has been listening
outside,
falls sprawling.
HOUSEKEEPER:
Oh Lord!
She
begins to crawl out backwards. The doorbell rings.
Holmes
crosses to the window and looks out.
HOLMES:
Inspector
Lestrade. Perhaps, Sir, you would prefer not to be
seen?
PRINCE:
Umph. Yes.
Holmes
opens a door on the other side of the room. The Prince goes
through it.
HOLMES:
Show the inspector up,
Mrs Halibut – and not a word about our visitor.
HOUSEKEEPER:
Yes, Mr
’Olmes. No Mr ’Olmes.
Exit
the Housekeeper.
WATSON:
I don’t
understand, Holmes.
HOLMES:
What don’t you
understand, Watson?
WATSON:
How did you know who
our visitor was before you saw him? How did you know it was
the
Prince of Wales?
HOLMES:
You know my methods,
Watson.
WATSON:
Yes. Clues, and
that sort of thing. But I still don’t see
…
HOLMES:
Yesterday I received a
telegram telling me to expect His Royal Highness this morning.
WATSON:
Oh. Ah. Yes, I see, but what I don’t see
is why he
came at all. What has the Prince of Wales to do with the
Whitechapel murders.
HOLMES:
The gutter press claims that his eldest son, the Duke of Clarence, is
Jack the Ripper. The Prince has removed the Duke from London
to
his estate at Sandringham, but Bradshaw’s Railway Guide shows
that it is possible to journey to London for the evening and be back
home early the next morning.
WATSON:
By Jove!
That’s what you meant by trains from Norfolk.
HOLMES:
Precisely.
Enter
the Housekeeper.
HOUSEKEEPER:
Inspector
Lestrade.
Enter
Inspector Lestrade
INSPECTOR:
Good morning, Gentlemen. I shan’t keep you
long. I
expect you know what I’ve come about.
HOLMES:
I am a detective,
Inspector, not a clairvoyant.
INSPECTOR:
The Whitechapel murders. Jack the Ripper.
I’ve been
taking your advice, Mr Holmes, looking for clues. I think I
have
a good idea where to look for Jack the Ripper.
WATSON:
I assure you,
Inspector that it cannot possibly be the Duke of Clarence.
The
very idea is preposterous.
INSPECTOR:
Duke of
Clarence? Who said anything about the Duke of Clarence?
WATSON:
Even if Bradshaw’s Railway Guide does say that it’s
possible to get up to London, do a murder or two and be back at
Sandringham for breakfast I still refuse to believe it.
INSPECTOR:
I know what you’re up to. Red herrings,
eh? Trying to
put me off the scent. Well it won’t work.
WATSON:
You surely can’t
possibly believe it was the Duke!
INSPECTOR:
The vital clue, Gentleman, is what the Ripper did to his victims after
he killed them. He opened ’em up and cut out some
of their
innards.
WATSON:
I can’t imagine
His Royal Highness doing such a thing. You must be mad,
Inspector.
INSPECTOR:
I did not mention his Royal ’Ighness. You
did. I
am
convinced that the murderer is a trained surgeon. Someone
like
yourself, Doctor.
WATSON:
Me?
But …
HOLMES:
Your reasoning is impeccable, Inspector, but you surely cannot intend
to arrest every doctor in London? Men like Sir Humphrey
Lawrence,
Sir Nicholas Walpole, Dr Galsworthy, Dr Jekyll?
INSPECTOR:
Nobody is above suspicion, not even Dr Jekyll. My suspicion
fell
on every doctor and surgeon without exception. It was only
when
Dr Watson began to try to divert my attention to His Royal Highness the
Duke of Clarence that I twigged. Dr Watson, I arrest you for
the
murders of Nelly Smith, Amy Wells, Sarah Simms and seventeen others and
I warn you that anything you say …
Enter
the Prince.
PRINCE:
Wait! I can
vouch for this man.
INSPECTOR:
And who might you be? [He
turns and sees the Prince of
Wales]. Oh my holy
aunt! Oh Your Royal
Highness! Oh
dear!
PRINCE:
There, there. Don’t “take off
so”. That
is what one says to these people, is it not, Mr Holmes?
HOLMES:
“Take on”
I believe, Sir.
PRINCE:
Yes of course. Don’t “take on
so,”
Inspector. As I was saying: I can vouch for Dr … um
WATSON:
Watson.
PRINCE:
Exactly. He is a
close friend of Dr Henry Jekyll.
INSPECTOR:
Well, um, Your Royal ’Ighness, with the greatest respect, and
meaning no offence if you take my meaning, you see, the thing is
… has he got an alibi?
HOLMES:
Well, have you, Watson?
WATSON:
Last night? I
was visiting friends.
INSPECTOR:
Which friends?
WATSON:
Oh, just some people I
know. Very respectable people.
INSPECTOR:
Their names, if you
please.
WATSON:
Well, if you must
know, I was visiting Henry Jekyll and his sister, Miss Jekyll.
INSPECTOR:
Then no doubt they
will corroborate your statement.
WATSON:
Er, yes.
INSPECTOR:
Good day to you then, Gentlemen. I shall call on Dr
Jekyll.
Um … good day, Your Royal ’Ighness, meaning no
disrespect
to Your Good Self.
Inspector
Lestrade bows low and backs through the door.
PRINCE:
I must go too.
Good day, Mr Holmes. Good day, Dr … um
… Watkins.
Holmes
and Watson bow as the Prince goes out.
HOLMES:
Visiting friends, eh
Watson?
WATSON:
Yes, Holmes.
HOLMES:
Then why not tell the
Inspector frankly?
WATSON:
Ah. Well, you see, Holmes, Jekyll went to his laboratory and
left
Miss Jekyll and myself alone in the drawing room. I do assure
you, Holmes, on my word as an Englishman, that no impropriety occurred,
but as you have already remarked, this is the nineteenth
century.
Whereas in former times it was quite acceptable for an unmarried lady
to entertain a gentleman alone, these days it won’t
do. Oh,
I do hope Jekyll has the sense to say he stayed with us. He’s
so
wrapped up in his latest experiments, and I should hate anyone to think
ill of Miss Jekyll.
HOLMES:
Watson, I do believe
you have a romantic interest in Miss Jekyll.
WATSON:
Ah, Holmes, nothing escapes your eagle eye. Yes, I admit
it. I thought I should live a bachelor all my days and be
quite
content, but that was before I met Miss Jekyll. I tried to
keep
it secret even from you, Holmes, until I could pluck up courage to
speak to her, but know my secret’s out.
[No.4.
The love-song of Dr Watson] [Score]
Once I had a secret love
that lived within the heart of me,
but now my secret love’s no secret any more.
I’ve just met a girl named Miss Jekyll
sweeter than honey or treacle,
and she’s the secret love that I adore.
Gertrude, her name is Gertrude,
it’s a grand old name,
and suddenly my life
will never be the same.
I’m laughing at clouds,
so dark up above,
the Sun’s in my heart
and I’m ready for love.
I have often walked
down that street before
but the pavement always stayed
beneath my feet before.
Suddenly I’m somewhere over the rainbow,
way up high,
watching the clouds and rain go,
watching them all go by.
The sun has got his hat on,
so shout hip hip hooray,
the sun has got his hat on
and he’s coming out to play.
Ahem
…
Love is a many splendored thing,
and it makes me feel better than any king.
Every minute I get bolder.
There’s a bluebird on my shoulder.
It’s the truth, it’s actual –
You
see,
Holmes, my account is entirely factual –
You can call me a cockeyed optimist
but every day is like the first day of spring.
London’s enshrouded in a rosy mist …
Oh how I wish I knew how to sing …
I hope, Holmes, it happens to you.
You’ve got to have a dream,
if you don’t have a dream
how the Dickens can you have a dream come true?
G-G-G-Gertrude, beautiful Gertrude,
she’s the only girl that I adore.
G-G-G-Gertrude, beautiful Gertrude!
Now my secret love’s no secret any more!
HOLMES:
I should think not,
Watson, now you've broadcast it to half of London.
WATSON:
Oh, gosh Holmes, I’d forgotten the window was open.
Never
mind! I’m proud of my love. Now
I’ve spoken out
I know exactly what is in my heart – and I’m going
to ask
Miss Jekyll to be my wife.
HOLMES:
Bravo, Watson.
They
go out. The curtain falls.
INTERLUDE
1
While
the
scenery is being changed Holmes and Watson appear in the space in front
of the curtain, which, as before, represents a London street.
Holmes and Watson mime walking but remain centre-stage.
People
coming from the opposite direction hurry past them.
HOLMES:
Shall we take a Hansom
cab?
WATSON:
No. It’s a
beautiful day. Let’s walk.
HOLMES:
Very well, Watson, but do try to keep your feet on the
ground.
Love’s all very well, but in this modern age of ours with all
this traffic you need to keep a sharp look out if you don’t
want
to be run down – or step in something nasty. Mind
your
feet, Watson!
WATSON:
What?
HOLMES:
Horse droppings, old man. You know, Watson, I can foresee the
day
when horse-drawn carriages will be a thing of the past. The
future lies with steam!
WATSON:
Good gracious, Holmes, you surely don’t think that there will
be
railway trains running about the streets of London?
HOLMES:
No, Watson, individual steam-driven cars. They will be so
cheap
that every gentleman will have his own. Think of the
convenience,
Watson! To drive from door to door.
WATSON:
Too slow, Holmes. The law says that these contraptions must
be
preceded by a man with a red flag to warn people of the
danger.
One might as well walk.
HOLMES:
Stuff and nonsense, Watson. These old fuddy-duddies in
Parliament
will soon change their tune when they have their own steam
cars.
And think of the employment possibilities. Every gentleman
with a
steam car will need a stoker – though I dare say
they’ll be
called something much posher and probably in French – chauffeur
perhaps. It will be an absolute boon to the poor.
And,
what’s more, with so many vehicles on the roads there will be
a
need for men with red and green flags to control all the road junctions.
WATSON:
What about at night?
HOLMES:
They’ll have red
and green lanterns.
WATSON:
I
did hear that someone in Germany has developed a car that is powered by
exploding petrol vapour to drive a piston.
HOLMES:
It’ll never catch on, Watson. It’s much
too
dangerous. Imagine if London were filled with vehicles
powered by
petrol. There would be enough explosives in the city to blow
us
all to Kingdom Come. You know, my dear chap, the Germans are
all
very well as musicians and philosophers, but no-one will ever convince
me that they can be good engineers. No, Watson, take my word
for
it: steam is the power of the future.
[No.5.
My dear fellow, I’ve a dream] [Score]
My dear fellow, I’ve a dream
of private cars all powered by steam.
We’ll all drive from door to door,
and we’ll benefit the poor,
for every car will have a bloke
to shovel coke.
At every corner there will stand
a man with flags in either hand,
and he’ll signal stop or go
and control the traffic flow.
He will signal green or red
to earn his bread.
My dear chap, in this bright future
every baker, every butcher
will deliver to the door.
You’ll hear nothing but the roar
of the fires that heat the steam.
That is my dream.
Every doctor, lawyer, broker,
he will have his car and stoker
and he’ll drive to work and park,
and at weekends for a lark
he will take his family
down to the sea.
Oh won’t it just be grand?
On every road throughout the land
there’ll be steam-cars nose to tail,
taking Londoners so pale,
such a never-ending host,
down to the coast.
Think
of it
Watson. Every gentleman with his own steam-driven car and his
own
chauffeur. No more horse-muck on the streets. And
there’ll be so many cars that the city fathers will be able
to
charge for parking. Watson! I foresee traffic
wardens! Parking meters! Oh vision of bliss!
WATSON:
But think of the
pollution.
HOLMES:
What pollution.
Steam is totally clean.
WATSON:
The smoke from all
those mobile furnaces.
HOLMES:
Smoke never did anyone any harm, Watson. Really, you
doctors. Next thing you'll be telling us that smoking tobacco
is
bad for us.
They
laugh.
WATSON:
Never!
HOLMES:
Ah, here we are.
Jekyll’s house.
Holmes
and Watson go
off.
SCENE
2
The
curtains
open to reveal Dr Jekyll’s laboratory. Across the
back is a
row of glass-fronted cupboards or open shelves containing scientific
instruments. To the right is a solid-fronted laboratory bench
large enough to conceal two actors. At the left is a smallish
dining table, covered with a heavy table cloth down to the floor, and a
chair. Dr Jekyll is alone. He strides about looking
puzzled
and worried.
JEKYLL:
I
can’t understand it at all. My experiment has
succeeded. I have liberated the dark side of my being, but
why
has it no redeeming feature whatsoever? Why is Mr Hyde, as he
calls himself, totally and utterly evil?
[No.6.
Why does Mr Hyde not give a damn?] [Score]
If I am Henry Jekyll, which I am,
and I care for every pauper
like a shepherd for a lamb,
then why does Mr Hyde not give a damn?
He can watch with equanimity
and a feeling like sublimity
the very worst disasters I can think.
He’ll watch men drown or burn,
watch torture and not turn
a solitary hair or even blink.
Why
is Mr Hyde so very
wild?
Why
did he run down that
tiny child?
Why
does hurting people
make his day?
When I
like country
rambling
why should he
like
gambling
and running up vast debts he’ll never pay?
Why should Mr Hyde roam through the streets
and view as victims everyone he meets?
When I devote my life to those who’re ill,
and even make my home among the poor
and never turn a pauper from my door,
why
should Mr Hyde
go out and kill?
If I am Henry Jekyll, which I am,
and I care for every pauper
like a shepherd for a lamb,
then why does Mr Hyde not give a damn?
Twenty
victims
so far. If Hyde kills is Jekyll guilty? It is I who
have
liberated Hyde. It is I who must terminate his existence, but
I
can think of no way to do it without killing myself. It may
come
to that, but the experiment must be carried through to the
end. I
owe it to those poor women who died to ensure that their deaths are not
in vain. I must find out why Hyde is so bestial.
Only then
can I point the way to eliminating cruelty, violence and inhumanity
from mankind. Hyde is taking hold of me, but I must go on.
Jekyll seizes a small
bottle and drinks
the potion it contains.
[No.7.
Transformation: Jekyll – And - Hyde] [Score]
He
collapses in
agony then throws himself about the stage, eventually falling behind
the laboratory bench. And rises to take his place.
And is
dressed in clothes identical to Jekyll’s but his face is
hairy. He performs back-flips, Arab springs and break-falls
and
then collapses behind the bench. After a moment
Hyde’s head
rises behind the bench, then Hyde gets to his feet a trifle
groggily. He is dressed exactly like Jekyll and And but is
smaller than Jekyll. He looks at his hands, then touches his
face. Then he grins evilly.
HYDE:
I’m
back! -- And
each time
I return that fool Jekyll finds it more difficult
to get rid of me. This may be the last time I shall need his
potion. He’s at my mercy. I shall come
whenever I
want. Jekyll will only exist when I
permit him!
Ha-ha-ha-ha! – What's that? Someone’s
coming.
Jekyll forgot to lock the door at the far end of the
corridor.
The potion! Where is it? No! No
time. I’m
afraid I shall just have to live up to my name. Hyde must
hide.
Hyde
crouches behind
the bench. Enter Gertrude followed by Holmes and Watson.
GERTRUDE:
Henry! Dr Watson is here, with his friend Mr
Holmes.
Henry? Now isn’t that peculiar. I was
sure Henry was
in his laboratory. He is so obsessed with these experiments
of
his I can scarcely persuade him to come out even for his
meals. I
was telling him yesterday about this commission I’ve been
given
to design a garden and he didn’t even listen. You
know my
eyesight’s not what it was and I can't see well enough to
paint
properly, but I can make large scale pictures with plants. It
really is terribly exciting but Henry pays no attention at
all.
He couldn’t wait to get back to his laboratory. Oh!
There’s someone there!
WATSON:
Come out at once!
Hyde
rises from
behind the bench. Miss Jekyll clasps her hands to her face in
horror.
WATSON:
Who are you?
Answer me you ruffian!
HYDE:
I
am Edward Hyde. I am a friend of Dr
Jekyll’s. What
right have you to question me? How dare you call me a
ruffian? You take against my appearance, do you?
Because
I’m not handsome in the face you think I’m a
blackguard! Are you
such a pretty picture yourself?
Well? Answer me, you ruffian!
WATSON:
I...
HOLMES:
My friend was taken aback and perhaps over eager in jumping to the
defence of Miss Jekyll, who was, naturally alarmed at finding a
stranger in her brother’s laboratory. You are a
friend of
Dr Jekyll’s?
HYDE:
The
closest of friends. I’m helping him with his
experiments. He regards me, in a manner of speaking, as his
other
self.
WATSON:
I
apologise for speaking so roughly. Deuced uncivil, I know,
but I
hope you’ll forgive me. Now that I know
you’re a
friend of Henry Jekyll’s I hope we shall become better
acquainted.
Watson
holds out his
hand. Hyde, with an evil grin, clasps it.
WATSON:
Any friend of Henry
Jekyll is a friend of mine.
[No.8.
Any friend of Dr Jekyll: reprise] [Score]
WATSON :
Any friend of Dr
Jekyll
is a friend of mine.
Be he German, French or Greek, I’ll
tell him, come and dine.
HYDE:
Hah! Hah!
WATSON:
Ahem!
Any friend of Henry Jekyll
is a damn good sort.
If he’s stranded up the creek I’ll
help without a thought.
HYDE:
Hah! Hah!
WATSON:
Ahem!
Any friend of Dr Jekyll
is a friend of mine.
Be he monster, mad or freak, I’ll
drink his health in wine.
HYDE:
Hah! Hah!
WATSON:
Ahem!
I will stick to him like treacle,
like the honeysuckle twine
round that friend of Henry Jekyll
who’s a friend of mine!
HYDE:
Hah! Hah!
Haaah!
The
doorbell rings.
GERTRUDE:
Oh, dear that’s the doorbell. Henry had an
extension put
through to his laboratory in case anyone called while he was
working. It’s probably Inspector Lestrade of
Scotland Yard.
WATSON:
My dear Miss Jekyll,
you amaze me. How can you possibly know Inspector Lestrade
intended to come here?
GERTRUDE:
Oh it’s quite simple, Dr Watson. Henry has had one
of these
new-fangled telephones installed. He says every professional
man
will have to have one.
HOLMES:
Dr Jekyll is perfectly
correct. You know, Watson, I believe I may have one installed
myself.
WATSON:
My dear Holmes, one
wouldn’t have a moment’s peace with such a thing in
the
house.
GERTRUDE
[calling
to the maid offstage]:
Show the Inspector through here, Emily.
HYDE:
Miss Jekyll, Gentlemen, though I should dearly love to stay and meet
the Inspector I am afraid duty calls. Dr Jekyll has given me
a
number of urgent errands. If you’ll excuse me,
I’ll
bid you good day.
Hyde
leaves
hurriedly by the exit door on the right as Inspector Lestrade comes in
from the left.
INSPECTOR:
Good day, Miss Jekyll. I trust I am not intruding but
… oh
… Good day to you to, Mr Holmes, Dr Watson.
HOLMES:
Watson and I have only just arrived, Inspector. We were
hoping
for a few words with Jekyll, but it seems that he is out.
GERTRUDE:
Oh yes, Inspector, there was such a strange man here, a colleague of
Henry’s, but I have to say that I was quite afraid of him and
I
don’t know what I should have done if Dr Watson and Mr Holmes
had
not been here.
INSPECTOR:
I hope you
won’t mind my asking, Miss Jekyll, when it was that you last
saw
these two gentlemen.
GERTRUDE:
Oh, I’ve never
seen them before today …
INSPECTOR:
Aha!
GERTRUDE:
… at least not together, in fact so far as I can recall I
have
never seen Mr Holmes at all, but then you know my eyesight is not what
it was, and if I have seen him before without actually seeing
him, then
I do hope he will pardon the oversight, but of course Dr Watson has
been a frequent visitor here. You are a close friend of my
brother’s, are you not, Dr Watson? But you must
forgive me,
Inspector, for I have completely forgotten what your question
was. Did you wish to know the first time I met Dr Watson?
INSPECTOR:
No, Ma’am,
the last time you saw him before today.
GERTRUDE:
Oh, that’s easy. Dr Watson called upon my brother
and
myself last evening. We had dinner together and then we had a
long and interesting conversation about Henry’s research and
his
new clinic to help the poor people of Whitechapel, and I told Dr Watson
about my plans now that my eyesight has become so much worse.
I’m afraid I shall have to give up painting, such a pity, but
there it is and I suppose that the sort of thing that I do is really
going out of fashion now, but it occurred to me that if I were to make
an arrangement of colour on a really grand scale I should be able to
see quite well enough, and I have always loved plants and gardens. So
you see I’m going to start a completely new career as a
…
INSPECTOR:
Thank you, Miss Jekyll. That was all I wanted to
know. I
won’t trouble you any further. Good day.
The
Inspector leaves
back through the house.
HOLMES:
I am afraid I shall
have to go too.
WATSON:
Yes indeed. Goodbye, my dear Miss Jekyll. Lock the
door as
soon as we have gone, won’t you? I must say I
don’t
like the look of that fellow Hyde at all, even if he is a friend of
Jekyll’s.
Holmes
and
Watson leave by the laboratory’s door to the
street.
Gertrude locks it after them. The curtain falls.
INTERLUDE
2
The
space in
front of the curtain represents a London street. As before
Holmes
and Watson walk to the centre of the stage then mime walking while
people come from the opposite direction and pass them.
HOLMES:
I thought there was
something you wished to say to Miss Jekyll, Watson.
WATSON:
Surely, Holmes, you can see that it was impossible for me to broach
such a topic: Jekyll, her only relative in London was absent; Hyde,
that abominable dwarf, was present; and then in came Inspector
Lestrade. Hardly the occasion for a proposal of marriage.
HOLMES:
You are a man of delicate sensibilities, Watson. You know how
to
approach the gentler sex and when to desist. I fear such
niceties
are beyond me. I shall probably remain a bachelor till I die.
Arfur
and
Fanny, a young Cockney couple, come towards them. When Arfur
and
Fanny reach centre-stage they stop moving and begin to mime
walking. At the same instant Holmes and Watson
begin to
move and go off stage.
ARFUR:
It’s wrong,
Fanny! You know it’s wrong!
FANNY:
We need ve money,
Arfur. You know you ain’t got a job ...
ARFUR:
I’ve tried ...
FANNY:
I know you have, love,
but vere jus’ ain’t ve work.
Arfur
begins to
cough.
FANNY:
Vere, vere, Arfur. Lean on me. You gotta go
’ome. S’not good for you to be out so
late. Be
dark soon, an’ ve fog’ll be back.
ARFUR:
Come home wiv me, Fanny.
FANNY:
We need ve money,
Arfur. Gennlemen’ll pay for a nice
lookin’ girl to
keep ’em company.
ARFUR:
An wot else?
FANNY:
Don’t you worry
yourself about vat, Arfur. I can tike care o’
meself.
Arfur
has another
attack of coughing.
FANNY:
Go home, Arfur.
Please, before you mike yourself ill.
Arfur
nods and drags
himself offstage. Fanny looks after him till he has gone.
[No.9.
Maybe
it’s wrong …] [Score]
FANNY:
Maybe it’s wrong,
and maybe it ain’t,
how would I know? Cos I ain’t no saint.
And what does it matter if cash changes ’ands?
It’s love what makes the world go round,
but it’s money buys the groceries.
I’d like to be good and settle down
in a nice little house in London town.
For that you need money, it don’t grow on trees,
and you don’t get much when
you’re down
on your knees
a-scrubbing at floors from morning till night –
but still I know that it don’t make it right.
Maybe it’s wrong, and maybe it ain’t,
how would I know? Cos I ain’t no saint.
And what does it matter if cash changes ’ands?
It’s love what makes the world go round,
but it’s money buys the groceries.
Arfur’s a good man, he just ain’t strong,
and Arfur tells me that it’s wrong,
but what can I do? I know he’s dying.
D’you want me to sit at home just crying?
I’ve got to get money to keep us fed.
While there’s life there’s hope, but dead
is dead.
Maybe it’s wrong, and maybe it ain’t,
how would I know? Cos I ain’t no saint.
And what does it matter if cash changes ’ands?
It’s love what makes the world go round,
but it’s money buys the groceries.
If a gentleman pays to hold my hand
or to kiss my lips, if he thinks it’s grand
to parade around with a girl on his arm,
and he gives me cash, well where’s the harm?
But what if he wants what a girl shouldn’t give?
What’ll I do? I want Arfur to live?
Maybe it’s wrong, and maybe it ain’t,
how would I know? Cos I ain’t no saint.
And what does it matter if cash changes ’ands?
It’s love what makes the world go round,
but it’s money buys the groceries.
I
want
’im to live, but I want ’im to be
’appy. They
say Dr Jekyll is going to open a new clinic for poor people.
If I
can just keep Arfur alive till then maybe there’s
’ope.
The
street is now
deserted and in semi-darkness. Enter Hyde.
FANNY:
Good evening, Sir.
Hyde
looks at her
then grins evilly at the audience.
HYDE
[to
audience]:
Delicious!
Really delicious! [to
Fanny]
Good evening, my dear.
Hyde
offers Fanny
his arm. Fanny takes it. Hyde grins again
and then
leads her offstage.
There
is a moment of
silence, then Fanny screams, a long piercing, terrified shriek of agony
that is suddenly cut short.
All
lights go out.
---
{ Interval or
short period of darkness } ---