A
street. Enter Sid, dejected and talking to himself.
Sid:
You
don’t understand, Jim. You don’t
understand.
Sid
mooches
aimlessly. Enter Jake.
Jake:
Oh,
so there you are. Did you tell ’im?
Sid:
Eh?
Jake:
Did you tell ’im A’m an old man. A
can’t stand
bein’ pushed aroun’ at my time o’
life. Did you
tell ’im?
Sid:
Yeah. A told ’im.
Jake:
What
d’e say?
Sid:
Nothing.
Jake:
Nothing?
Sid:
He
didn’t say anything.
Jake:
Taken aback, was he? You showed him, did you?
Sid:
Eh?
Jake:
You
showed him where he got off? Took the wind out o’
the silly bugger’s sails?
Sid:
Must
you be so common, Father?
Jake:
You
showed him?
Sid:
Yes. I showed him.
Jake:
You
made him apologise for shoving me around? A’m not
well, you know. It’s me ’eart.
Sid:
He
won’t touch you again.
Jake:
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! A wish A’d seen the
fun. A wish A’d seen it. Come on!
Sid:
Where?
Jake:
A’ll buy you a drink.
Sid:
No!
… A’d rather be by meself for a bit …
I’ve got a bit of a headache.
Jake:
A
expect you want to write one of your poems.
Sid:
Um
…
Jake:
Ah
well, don’t let me keep you. Good night, Son.
Sid:
Goodnight, Father.
Jake
goes off
round the corner.
Sid [muttering
to himself]:
Thank goodness the daft old bugger’s gone.
It’s all
his fault …Oh! Oh, bloody hell!
He’s gone to
the pub.
Sid
hurries to
the corner.
Sid:
Father!
There
is no
sign of Jake.
Sid [tearfully]:
What am A going to do?
ACT
III, SCENE 2
The
bar of the
“Leg and Leper.” Gormley, Ted, Alice,
First Drinker, Other customers.
Gormley:
It’s all right for you to say that. You
don’t know
what it’s like when you know your son’s
… one of
those.
Ted:
You
don’t know,
Albert.
Gormley:I
know! I
know!
Why else should ’e go round with that
little poof
for?
First
Drinker: A know
’ow you feel, Albert,
but that
doesn’t mean you can just go for him like that. You
could
have done him quite a bit of damage if we hadn’t been
here.
You might have killed ’im. As it is you could be in
trouble
for assault and battery.
Gormley:
Assault and bloody battery?! All A did was tek me belt to
’im. If old Jake Thatcher had given him a good
hiding from
time to time he might
have made a man of ’im. Assault and
bloody battery?! He should be grateful
to me.
Alice:
Calm down, Mr Gormley.
First
Drinker: Yes, come
on now, Albert.
It’s no good
getting angry. What’s done is done, but
don’t mek a
song an’ dance ower it. Jake Thatcher and his son
have both
got a case against you if they care to use it, so you’d
better be
just a bit canny what you say to them.
Ted:
They
wouldn’t go to the police?
Gormley:
Nobody goes to the police around here.
First
Drinker: Mebbe not,
but they could.
The boy’s had a
rough time. They say that gang’s after him
– you know
the lads I mean: they hang around the old goods yard. Well,
you’ve mebbe just given ’im the opportunity
’e
needs. He could do you
just to show he’s not going to be
pushed around.
Enter
Jake.
Alice [in
a low voice]:
Here’s Jake.
First Drinker[in
a low voice]:
Be nice to him.
Alice:
Good evening, Mr Thatcher.
Gormley:
Evenin’ Jake.
Jake:
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. There you are, Albert Gormley.
First Drinker [whispering
to Gormley]:
Buy him a drink.
Gormley:
Have a drink, Jake. What’ll it be? Pint?
Jake
nods.
Jake:
I
hear you’ve been having a little talk with my son.
Gormley[passing
Jake his drink]:
Er … now … look, Jake
… let’s forgive and forget, eh? Let
bygones be
bygones. A mean, you don’t want to bear a grudge
for summat
that happened in the heat o’ the moment. After all,
we’ve been friends a long time.
Jake:
We’ve hardly spoken two words to each other – until
tonight.
Gormley:
We’ve been coming to the same pub. Cheers, Jake.
While
they
drink Ken and Stan enter unnoticed and stand at the end of the bar
nearest the door.
Jake:
Hee-hee-hee. A never thought A’d see the day when
you’d buy me a drink, Albert Gormley – and
it’s all
because of my Sid. You must be thoroughly ashamed of
yourself. Are you?
Gormley[prodded
by Ted and the First
Drinker]: Er
… yes, Jake …
A’m sorry.
Jake:
Are
you?
Gormley:
Yes.
Jake:
D’y’apologise?
Gormley
nods. Jake waits expectantly. Ted and the First
Drinker prod Gormley again.
Gormley[unwillingly]:
I apologise.
Jake:
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. Hee-hee.
Hee-hee-hee-hee. You
all hear that, didn’t you? Perhaps next time,
Albert
Gormley, you won’t be so ready to shove an old man
about.
So just behave yourself from now on – or you’ll be
in
trouble with my Sid and me!
Exit
Jake in
triumph.
There
is an
awkward silence. Gormley is fuming. The
others are embarrassed and unwilling to draw attention to themselves by
speaking. They look on in silent sympathy.
Ken:
Here! What about some service down this end, then?
Alice:
A’ve told you lot before: A’m not serving you.
Ken:
We’re not under age.
Alice:
A’m not serving any of you. Now get out before A
call Mr Leckford.
Ken
and Stan
leave, grumbling.
Alice:
There’s always trouble when them lads are about.
The
others
murmur agreement.
ACT
III, SCENE 3
A
street. Jim, hurrying, followed by Steve, Pete and Andy.
Steve:
Hang on, Jim. You wanna be careful. You
can’t just go up to them like that …
Jim:
They’ll get ’im!
Pete:
But
…
Jim:
He
raped me Mam!
Andy:
Wait
a minute …
Jim:
He
raped me Mam! And he’s a queer!
They’ll get’im!
Steve:
But
they think …
Jim:
He
raped me Mam!
Jim
hurries
on. The others follow.
ACT
III, SCENE 4
Behind
the
engine sheds. Ken, Stan, Effie, Sandra, Willie
and other members of the gang. The others are jeering
derisively
at Ken and Stan.
Ken:
A
tell you, A saw it.
Stan:
Yeah.
Ken:
He
bought ’im a drink.
The
gang jeer.
Stan:
And
’e said ’e was sorry.
The
gang jeer.
Willie:
How much did you
have to drink?
The
gang jeer.
Ken:
A’m not making it up.
The
gang jeer.
Ken:
He
bought the stinking old ratbag a drink and apologised for shoving him
round. You ask anybody.
The
gang jeer.
Ken:
They
said Sid Thatcher forced him to apologise.
The
gang
jeer. Willie begins clapping the rhythm of
“We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!”
and some of
the other boys take up the clapping.
Ken:
You
bloody dare!
Suddenly
Jim
Gormley comes rushing up and forces his way into the
middle of the group. Steve, Pete and Andy, who have been
following him, breathlessly join the group.
Jim[breathless
and excited]:
You’ve got to get
’im! You’ve got to get
’im! He’s a
queer and he raped me Mam!
The
gang are
astonished.
Jim:
You’ve got
to! He’s a queer! He raped me Mam!
Willie:
Geddim!
Willie
and his
followers grab Jim. Effie, Sandra, Steve,
Pete and Andy try to rescue him. There is a confused
scrimmage
during which the following may be heard: Jim:
Gerroff! Gerroff! Gang:
Get
him!
Hold him!
Watch it!
Gerroff, you!
Ow!
RAAAY!
Pete:
He’s tryin’ to tell you something!
Jim:
You’ve got to get him!
Ken:
He’s a queer!
Willie:
Gedd’is knickers off!
Jim:
He
raped me Mam!
Sandra:
Get-off-him!
Gang:
Raaay! RAAAY!
Enter
King and
Ronno, running.
King:
Come
on, lads. There’s a battle!
Sandra:
Stop them! They’ll kill him!
King
dives
into the fray and hauls out Willie.
King:
Leave him! There’s a battle!
Ronno[breaking
up the
scrimmage]: Halden
lads!
King:
Nails Palmer’s gang!
Ronno:
Coming down Calcutta Road.
The
scrimmage
subsides. The gang show interest in the news.
Willie:
Raaay! We’ll kick their heads in!
Gang:
Raaay!
King:
Swar-rell! Swar-rell!
Gang:
Swar-rell! Swar-rell! Raaaay!
The
gang rush
off, cheering. Effie and Sandra stay with
Jim, who is still sprawling on the ground. He gets up to a
kneeling position and looks after the gang.
Jim:
Have
they gone to get him?
Effie
and
Sandra help him up.
Effie:
Who?
Jim:
Sid
Thatcher. He’s a queer. He raped me Mam.
ACT
III, SCENE 5
A
street. The Halden lads are milling about. Their
leader, Nails Palmer, is directing the formation of an ambush as the
sound of chanting indicates the approach of the Swarrell lads.
Nails:
They’re coming, lads. Keep quiet!
Enter
Tommo
with his friends: Nelly, Claggy, Wank and Hutch.
Tommo:
Nails! They’re coming along Raglan Street!
Nails:
Right. Listen, lads. They’ll be here in a
minute. They’ll walk right into it like rats into a
trap.
Tommo:
Then: BANG! [He
slams his fist against his palm].
Nails:
That’s right. Tommo, you take your men into that
back lane
over there, and, man, listen: don’t come out till they get
right
past you. Then you take ’em in the rear.
Right?
Tommo:
Right.
Nails:
You lot over there: out of sight! And you lot: move further
down
the street! Let ’em see you when they come round
the
corner. You others: come with me!
They
scatter
into position. The sound of singing and chanting comes nearer.
Nails[quietly
to the lads with him]:
They’re gonna walk right into it. We’ve
got ’em.
They
snigger.
ACT
III, SCENE 6
A
street. The chanting of King’s gang is very
near. Sid skulks anxiously along in the shadows.
Suddenly
the gang comes round the corner. Sid flees.
Ken:
There’s one of ’em!
King:
After him!
Ronno:
Too
late.
King:
Keep
after him! He’ll be one of their scouts.
Ronno:
Don’t let him get away.
The
gang pound
after Sid. He races away, well ahead of
them. Then he sees ahead of him the decoy group placed by
Nails
Palmer. He hesitates, then rushes into the back lane where
Tommo’s lads are waiting in ambush. He collides
with
them. They leap on him and tumble back into the street.
Tommo:
Get
him!
Ambushers:
Raaay!
Come on’ lads!
Halden! Raaay!
Other
ambushers come running from nearby hiding places. Nails
rushes out to stop them.
Nails:
Get
back, lads! They’re not here yet! Get
back!
Nails
pushes
into the centre of the fray where Sid is striking
about like a madman. King’s gang stop further along
the
street and watch.
Nails
grabs
Sid and Sid grabs Nails. The ambushers mill around in
confusion.
King:
Charge!!!
Gang:
Swar-rell! Swar-rell! Raaaay!
King’s
gang charge. The Halden lads are taken by
surprise. The battle is short and swift. The Halden
lads
are routed and flee. King’s gang pursue them along
the
road. The Halden lads keep running, while King’s
gang stop
and jeer after them.
Gang:
Raaay!
Yah! Chicken!
We are the champions! We are the champions!
Swar-rell! Swar-rell!
Raaaay!
King:
Great, lads! Great! We showed ’em!
Ronno:
Anybody hurt?
Stan:
Ken’s hurt his arm.
Ken:
It’s all right. S’nothin’.
Willie:
You should’a seen what ’e did to the other fellah.
Pete:
Aren’t we gan after them?
King:
Naw. Let ’em go. They won’t
stop runnin’
till they get home till they’re mammies.
The
gang laugh
derisively.
Willie:
Hey! Look!
Willie
points
back to the site of the ambush where the fight
started. Two lads are still fighting there, rolling on the
ground. Cheering, the gang surge across and surround
them.
Willing hands pull the fighters apart.
Willie:
Raay! We got a prisoner!
Ronno:
It’s Nails Palmer!
Gang:
Eh?
What?
Who?
Nails Palmer?
Nails Palmer!
What d’e say?
Who is it?
Let’s see!
King:
Shurrup, will ya?
Ronno:
Quiet!!
The
gang
quieten.
King:
Hallo, Nails. Nice of you to drop in.
Nails
scowls
without answering. The gang snigger.
King:
Whoever captured him’s a bloody hero.
The
sagging
form of Nails’s captor is thrust forward.
King:
Well
done, lad!
He
raises the
hero’s lolling head.
King:
It’s Sid Thatcher!
Gang:
Eh?
Never!
Sid Thatcher?
Course it isn’t.
It is! It’s Sid Thatcher!
What?
Who?
Ken:
Mebbe
it’s right what his old man said …
Stan:
… about him duffing up old Gormley.
Gang:
Sid
Thatcher?
Are you sure?
Course it is.
Let’s have a look!
King:
He’s a bloody hero
– and he’s one of us!
King
clasps
Sid Thatcher in a shoulder embrace.
King:
Well
done, son.
Gang:
Raaay!
Willie:
We
gonne ’nitiate ’im?
King:
Never mind that. We’ve got a prisoner to deal with.
Ronno:
What’ll we do with him?
Willie
begins
to clap the rhythm of “We’re going
to
take
his trousers
off”
and the rest of the gang take up the
clapping.
Willie:
Are we gonna, eh, King?
King:
Yeah. Bring him round behind the engine sheds and
we’ll have some fun wid ’im.
Gang:
Raaay! Raaaaaay!
Willie:
We’re going
to
take his
trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
The
gang take
up the chant, grab Nails and hoist him onto their shoulders.
King:
Don’t forget Sid!
Sid
too is
hoisted shoulder high. The gang set off for the old goods
yard, chanting and singing.
Gang:
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
Ronno[singing
to the tune of
“John Brown’s body”]: Nails
Palmer was the leader of the mighty Halden gang,
Gang: Nails
Palmer was the leader of the mighty Halden gang, Nails
Palmer was the leader of the mighty Halden gang,
Ronno:
But
we’ll take his trousers off! Glory
…
Gang:
… glory, halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
we’ll take his trousers off!
Willie’s group[chanting]:
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
Ronno:
Nails Palmer came to Swarrell with
a
hundred boys or more,
Gang:
Nails Palmer came to Swarrell
with a
hundred boys or more, Nails
Palmer came to Swarrell with
a
hundred boys or more, but
we’ll take his trousers off! Glory,
glory, halleluiah, glory,
glory, halleluiah, glory,
glory, halleluiah, we’ll
take his trousers off!
We’re
going
to take
his trousers
off! We’re
going
to take
his trousers
off!
They
all go
off towards the engine sheds.
ACT
III, SCENE 7
Behind
the
engine sheds. Effie, Sandra and Jim.
Effie:
I
don’t believe it. Sid would never do a thing like
that.
Jim:
I saw
him!
Effie:
He’s not like that. He’s so gentle.
Jim:
It’s all lies. Everything he said. All
about …
everything. I saw him. He was on top of
her. He had
his pants down. He was trying to … to do it.
Effie:
I
can’t believe it.
Sandra:
Well, at least it shows he’s not a queer.
Jim:
He
is! He is! Why do you say he
isn’t? He’s a filthy queer! He
raped me Mam!
The
gang
approach, singing and chanting.
Gang:
… glory, glory, halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
we’ll take his trousers off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
Ronno:
Sid
Thatcher caught Nails Palmer and
he
dragged him to the ground,
Gang:
Sid
Thatcher caught Nails Palmer and
he
dragged him to the ground,
Sid Thatcher caught Nails Palmer and
he
dragged him to the ground,
now we’ll take his trousers off!
Glory, glory halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
we’ll take his trousers off.
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
Sandra[to
Jim]:
You’d better get out of here.
Jim:
No! I’m going to get him!
Ronno:
Sid
Thatcher held Nails Palmer while
we
chased his gang away,
Gang:
Sid
Thatcher held Nails Palmer while
we
chased his gang away,
Sid Thatcher held Nails Palmer while
we
chased his gang away,
now we’ll take his trousers off!
Glory, glory halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
we’ll take his trousers off.
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
King:
Way-hay! You should’a seen us, lassies!
Ronno:
You
should’a seen them run!
King:
It
was great!
Willie:
We really gave ’em a going over. We kicked
’em
an’ punched ’em an’ chivved ’em
an’
ripped ’em! We slaughtered ’em!
You
should’a seen the blood!
Ken:
Yeah. They won’t come round here again.
Willie:
They won’t go anywhere again! You
should’a seen the blood!
King:
And
we’ve got Nails Palmer.
Willie:
Yeah! We’re gonna strip’im! [chants]:
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
King:
Yeah! Get him, lads!
Cheering,
the
gang surround Nails Palmer and debag him.
Then the knot of debaggers and spectators dissolves into a loose
circle. Nails’s trousers are thrown from boy to
boy.
Nails follows, desperately trying to catch them, while King’s
gang, jeering all the while, buffet him and snatch at his shirt tails.
Ronno[singing]:
We’re going to send Nails Palmer back
to
Halden in his shirt,
Gang:
We’re going to send Nails Palmer back
to
Halden in his shirt,
We’re going to send Nails Palmer back
to
Halden in his shirt,
Now we’ve got his trousers off!
While
the gang
continue mocking Nails, whistling the tune,
jeering at him and pushing him about, Jim, who has been standing at one
side in complete bewilderment, suddenly sees, Sid, who is equally
bewildered. Jim flings himself at Sid, striking at him with
his
fists.
Jim:
He’s a queer! He’s a queer!
Help! He’s a queer! He raped me Mam!
Sid[gasping
and knocked off
balance]: Jim!
King [grabbing
Jim and hauling him
off Sid]: Hey!
Jim:
He’s a queer! He raped me Mam! Lemme get
at him!
King:
Ow! Ya la’al sod!
King
lets
go. Jim launches himself at Sid again. King
and Ronno grab him and overpower him without difficulty.
Ronno:
What’ll we do with him?
Sandra:
Let him go! He doesn’t know what he’s
doing. His Mam’s been raped.
Pete:
Yeah. We saw him do it. Sid!
Ken:
An’ he beat up ol’ man Gormley.
Ronno:
An’ he caught Nails Palmer!
King:
He’s a good lad! We’ll let him decide
about this la’al poofter.
Jim
struggles
and kicks Ronno.
Ronno:
Ow! I think we should hand him over to Willie an’
them.
Sandra[to
Sid]:
Tell them to let him go!
King:
What’ll we do with him, Sid?
Ronno:
Shall we let Willie have him?
Sandra:
He
hasn’t done any harm. You want them to let him go,
don’t you?
Sid
nods,
agreeing to anything.
Effie:
I
knew you would.
Effie
embraces
Sid.
King:
Right! You can go – but don’t come round
here again.
Ronno:
… or we’ll have your knickers off!
Jim
stumbles
off and watches from the shadows while King calls his gang to order.
King:
Come
on lads. It’s time to take Nails up to the viaduct
and run him out of town!
The
gang
cheer. They hoist Nails onto their shoulders, and Sid too.
King:
Hang on! [He
takes Nails’s trousers and drapes them
over Sid’s shoulders like a cloak]
Sid
can wear the trophy!
Gang:
Raaay!
Jim:
I
don’t understand. He’s a queer.
He raped me Mam.
King:
Then we’ll make it into our battle flag!
That’ll
really shame them. Everybody’ll know
we’re top gang
when they see the Banner! The Banner of King’s
gang!
The Banner of Swarrell!
Gang:
Raay! The Banner! Raaay!
Ronno[singing]:
Nails Palmer was the leader of
the
mighty Halden gang,
Gang:
Nails Palmer was the leader of
the
mighty Halden gang,
Nails Palmer was the leader of
the
mighty Halden gang,
but we got his trousers off!
Glory, glory halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
glory, glory, halleluiah,
we’ve got his trousers off!
Nails Palmer came to Swarrell with
a
hundred boys or more, [ter]
but we got his trousers off!
Glory, glory … [etc.]
Sid Thatcher caught Nails Palmer and
he
dragged him to the ground, [ter]
and we got his trousers off!
Glory, glory … [etc.]
Sid Thatcher held Nails Palmer while
we
chased his gang away, [ter]
then we got his trousers off!
Glory, glory … [etc.]
We’re going to send Nails Palmer back
to
Halden in his shirt, [ter]
’cos we’ve got his trousers off!
Glory, glory … [etc.]
